Jokes on Time

Where's My RolexA lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!""Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!"Talking ClockProudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong."Now, do you see the donkey's balls?""Of course", the man replies. "Now reach down and take them into your hand." Hesitantly the husband does as he is instructed, after all, this could prove to be an enlightening experience. "Now, slowly lift the donkey's balls", he continues. Again the husband does as he is instructed."Now look underneath the donkeys balls, and between his two front legs." The husband does just that."Now" the man says, "can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?"Social TimeA social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?"The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."Why?Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!